Worthiness

 thou hast appointed repentance unto me that am a sinner: for I have sinned above the number of the sands of the sea. My transgressions, O Lord, are multiplied: my transgressions are multiplied, and I am not worthy to behold and see the height of heaven for the multitude of mine iniquities.--from the Prayer of Manessah

I am not worthy when I consider all things, nor can I gain worthiness.  Too often works theology sways believers into being or trying to be something they are not.  God designed each one of His people to have different traits, talents and characteristics that would teach each one tolerance, acceptance and love. None are worthy, none can achieve worthiness,  but as a gift God does not look on us but on His son, His ideal creation is our stand-in.  Serving not our sins, for that He has already paid the price, but He stands in radiant holiness beyond compare before God on our behalf.  God sees the radiant holiness of Jesus, not the suffering sinfulness of man deserving death.  God sees His creation prepared for eternity, washed clean of the concept of sin, full of glory, abounding in grace.  This is how God sees you.

presence of God

believing God is omnipresent does not satisfy my ned for His presence. Long have the stories of Christ's return enthralled my curiosities, but few have been the insertions of the spirit's indwelling now. God is present now! too long has the Holy Spirit been tied to some revivalist of pentecostal religious experience; taking up snakes, tongues, healings, prophecies, etc.; the spirit is here, now! It is the power of God working the everyday aspect of life, breathing in and out in the presence of the sinful nature of man, the overwhelming phrase that bring confusion is, "sin cannot exist in the presence of God." Unfortunately, this statement is post knowledge propaganda. God planted two trees in a garden one time, two conceptual trees, one the concept of life thrived in its fruit the other tree the concept of good and evil thrived. these concepts are highly debated in the world, what is life, what constitutes existence, what is right, what is wrong? there are no concretes in the evaluation of fruits, yet the search for concretes in the evaluation remains the pinnacle of religions. Where then is God? We say he created all things, yet we limit His involvement when it comes to the things we have deemed unholy. "Do not call unclean what I have called cleaned!" "it is good!" The latter statement of Gods creation remark trumps out the concept of evil, that is unless God was not truthful in His evaluation of His work. How were we to quantify good without an evaluation of good? we needed the knowledge, we wanted the knowledge as much as we wanted to know the antithesis of life. God is here. He has not left us, nor does He cause bad things to happen to us. Viewing things as bad, evil, unrighteous; being critical of the critical illness we find in the antithesis of life is denying the presence and truthfulness of God. "It is good!" all things happen for a purpose, seeking God, evaluating God, getting to know God. He is here! His power (spirit) is with us. "It is Good!" the turning of the tides, the shifting of the earth's crust, changing of the climate. "It is Good!" because, "It is God!" He is here.

Gravedigger

there is no need for any circumstance to shape your life in the negative manner. any situation can be overcome with diligence and formality of purpose by which we have not only been created to achieve, but have also been given definite guidance on how to achieve success in these processes.  any obstacle in the way of man can be given over to experience; it either will be experience or regret. the what ifs of the mid life crisis are paving stones toward the grave.  we lift shovels full of regret from the grave getting deeper as to say when we are finally there all will see the path we took, all will know how deep we dug.  A certain Dave Matthews song comes to mind every time i consider the grave and here it is fitting to say "Gravedigger, when you dig my grave make it shallow so that I can feel the  rain."  We dig our own graves as certain as we build our own empires.  What we leave behind can be viewed in those two aspects; have we dug deep and all our dreams lay down with us, or have we barely scratched the surface of the grave and spent our time and energy building something, some monument that points others toward greater achievements than we ever dreamed.

I will stay

Where I have been placed is where I am wanted by God. I do not understand His will, and at times I break down in prayer and beg Him to grant me understanding. The answers are slow in coming, but the persistent response is only that I am to be. Perhaps there are persistent questions in each persons life in which the answer is that we are in the situation to simply be there; no grand lesson to be learned other than the greatest lesson of all, how to be. These problems will pass if we run from them more will be found, if we pursue something greater more will be found, but if we stand our ground, if we learn how to be, the problems will pass. The phrase that reassures is simple to learn, "be still and know that I am God"; have you learned how to be still, like a tree rooted in the ground? Let your roots grow deep and your branches high, swaying in the breeze, always growing and giving signs to each season. The tree is still yet always abounding in life and never unoccupied by life. Be still and vital, be aware and active in knowing that God is God.

Lies behind the truth, or is it the truth behind the lies

To confess to the lies that were spurned in order to convince people to believe is to admit that our beliefs need not proven, they are beliefs of faith. When one evaluates beliefs, one might realize the outside view that choosing one side of the debate and substantiating that side is viewed as lying by the supporters of the opposing side of the argument. To believe beyond the contradiction with the study and admittance of the validity of the opposing viewpoints is to gain true peace with faith and to submit completely to the knowledge of not knowing all the truth. It is in the state of admitted ignorance to the truth that one can truly believe, truly exercise faith and truly exist in cohabitation of this place; in this world of war and argument without being of this world. Are you ready to be trained in accordance with one who stands in the assembly of all accepted beliefs, speaking to the multitude of viewpoints, and caring for each misrepresentation of the hearts desire to know God, truth, love and understanding. When I was a child there was one way, it was the way I was taught, the way I believed, the way I was instructed all others were wrong, but now as I have grown to be a man I see God's work in all ways, in all beliefs, in all things that through love bring mankind to a more fulfilling knowledge of Him.

Longing

What is it in the local assembly houses called blindly "churches" toward which so many are drawn? What is in that assembly that stirs the soul and causes interest and intrigue? Certainly the concept of modern worship is skewed from the foundational concept of "church" no matter what the religion is, the wearies of time have persuaded the definitions of the foundational concepts of the sect of whatever greater religious construct people gather to celebrate in the assembly. Herein lies the conflict, like a family who suddenly realizes the children are now the adults and the parents not the parents, not needed in the same way, at times not agreed with, the church, it's followers have matured even in their naivety, they have reached beyond the constitutional, doctrinal concepts that once governed their beliefs and have journeyed into an anarchy of "new thought" much as their founder did from whatever religious views or societal norms the founder once held. We are the people, naive, immature, playing grown up and so messed up in our conflicting views of what and where reality exists. Looking for, longing for the true church where the elder is the one, where the pastor is the one, where the gathering is the one, where O children is one which is heard. Longing for the one one for the truth, knowing a remnant of that truth is there, like the archeologist at an empty tomb...something was here, may still be if examined. Longing to uncover the secret passage, to find a purpose for this quest, returning beyond the disappointment to search till fulfillment is reached...longing.

News is out

Nine and a half years since the world trade center and pentagon disaster in America the one who claimed leadership over the attacks was finally killed. What has changed in the world? Nothing! Wars and rumors of wars are still around, the martyrs mark now placed on the memory of the man by his supporters. A search for understanding and of self worth in the minds of all affected by this event, but we should be proud as a nation that we, when we killed the insurgent, gave respect to his traditions, we gave honor to his religious views, we upheld our constitution and integrity through the act of war, we did not become the animals of destruction, we rose above the circumstances and soared as angels reaching for peace in this dying age.

Silent desperation

There is a quietness that comes with age and the knowledge that one is passing. Perhaps it is the desperation that quiets the restless soul, perhaps it is the silence that causes the desperation; whatever the cause is the affect is that all men are not equally ended. One truth is never enough for this mortality. All truths are too conflicting and real truth is not found in the complexity of flesh-spirit union. Fighting against the odds one struggles to achieve recognition, denying self of any undulation from being. Youthful unrest would demand movement. Aged unrest still quiet.

New man

There is no denying that something dies out with age; whether this is part of acquiring wisdom or just growing too tired to carry on the weight of reason, there is something which inside of the soul is lost. This spark of life is the thing which most needs to be reborn in the life of man. The passion to not merely exist, but to excel in all things must be reborn in the worn out soul. The journey of discovery comes to those who want it, but do not know what it is. Sometimes intervention is needed in order to foster this in the lives of people who are loved and cared about by others, but sometimes the pain is bore solely by the one dying for care. It has long been the mission of the church to assist and foster the rebirth process; however, recent practices of the church often fall short of nurturing spiritual growth in the midst of adverse spiritual difficulties. Be it now the mission of the Christ-follower to individually assemble teams of warriors to enter into the spiritual battlefront and handle the conflicts of life which the church in its corporate struggle cannot. Tied to the legality of religion and financial need the church as an organization is more and more useless the more it becomes needed in this battle. Like a strong military needs black ops, so now the church needs small groups of well trained dedicated forces to ensure the battle does not get lost in endless political movements in order to protect itself against a failing constitution and a weakened corporate structure. The church needs you.