Out

I've never needed anyone. Stories of my infancy are plaguing my mind as I sort through the cause of my divorce. I have been told that I never cried as a baby, that I simply yelped or sighed and waited. Time would pass and if no one came I would let out another sigh or yelp and wait, but I did not cry. Needing help from a world of "cry-babies" when you do not know how to cry is difficult at best, but add forty years to the equation and you find yourself trying to learn how to ask for help from tone def people. It is a curiosity to me how so many people have become so out of tune with seeing needs. I wait and I watch as I see the hurting everywhere I go, but I hear crying and whining from those being nurtured rather than from those whose pain is greater. I see a world we have evolved to sustain the criers rather than to discipline the spoiled. The hurt and lonely are cast out of our sight and kept from audible range. I am outed because I have not cried enough, I have not begged for help, I have not whined in order to be comforted. I am outed, I am broken, and I am cast aside, acquainted with sorrow, bearing the grief of the brokenhearted...Alone. I am.