Crying

It amazes me how the soul works that with the stinging pain of shedding tears one can feel a lift of joy yet with the joy comes the longing to return to that state of pained numbness which preceded all former misery til resolution and relief can be experienced. What move has one to take to turn the feelings of regret and remorse to those of joy for in the lord joy brings strength; however in a weakened state where can one find said joy and wherefrom does one turn to the lord? Where is my god? Where is my joy? Where am I?