front porch of my soul

I cannot get inside why I have not seen the rage nor have I felt this pain outside no love that stays in vain inside the place I cannot reside. And suddenly the darkness rises all the pain in wetness lies still waiting for the door to open I remain outside. Who is this I long to question who is the owner of the residence who cauterizes me from wisdom as I am kept outside. There is no further in my pursuing to deeper quest for what abides no more I long to see the madman who waits for me inside. I have too long awaited anger and love has left my side I grope for relief from this wager while still entrapped outside. What does the soul have in the center while thoughts and dreams show their demeanor what answer is there no one wonders while we all remain in superficial existential artificial lives. Still struggling on the doorstep to my soul awaiting all that never takes hold offering some insight to others reaching goals alone and waiting I wallow in lack of my control. Having not the power to lose the simple plot I die within my diligence and delight within my plight